Friday, October 31, 2008

Halloween is Here

In order to celebrate the day where we encourage children to take sweets from strangers and our adult friends to dress up in lingerie and fake animal ears for the sake of Facebook photos, I give you this riff on Dwight Normile's hilarious (and by 'hilarious' I mean 'about as funny as a joke told by your elderly father') new column on Halloween costume suggestions for gymnasts.


Lauren Mitchell: The Little Engine that Could. She just keeps trying and trying and trying and does her best to smile in all circumstances.


Dasha Joura: Lemon Skittle. A bright, sweet, colourfully-packaged treat that brings euphoric feelings to people in small or large doses.


Amber Fulljames: Gun silencer. She's a dark horse, a sleek performer, somewhat reserved off the podium... and could probably get away with murder if she tried.


Melanie Jones: Energiser battery. With all that power and amplitude, she just keeps going and going and going (sometimes outside the floor lines...)


Olivia Vivian: Bubble Wrap. Fun to have around and always protective of her teammates.


P-Liddy: Rainbow Slinky. She's a colourful character that can confuse and amaze you at the same time; she knows her purpose, she can be fun for the team to have around, but some people feel like accompanying her on a 'trip' down some stairs on odd occasions...


I'm off to my own Halloween celebrations now. I was going to go dressed as a Xavier College Year 12 boy (yes, fellow Victorians, they ARE pretty scary figures) but changed my mind when I got pressed for time and finances.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Halloween ?!?!? Are you kidding? What a crock of imported US of A ****. And what's that crack about 'elderly' fathers, huh? I'll have you know I'm VERY funny

Ribbit

Anonymous said...

Actually Froggy - Halloween comes from Gaelic culture and was taken to the US with immigrants - but the US of course have to turn it into commercialised claptrap. i don't ever remember celebrating Halloween when i was a kid and don't know why it has suddenly become popular.

Anonymous said...

You are getting on Froggy but I think you are a few years off 'elderly' don't you??

Anonymous said...

Well now, the good Lord promised 'three score and ten' if I remember my Sunday school scriptures. I'm only 15 years away from that now. Middle aged would be 30! OMG!!

Ribbit

Anonymous said...

Yeh, Halloween is annoying. When I was younger my mum always used to put a sign on the door to shoo people away.....

Mez said...

Halloween isn't so bad. Just take part in something insane and liberating, like I did last night. I wanted to get away from the prospect of "Trick or Treat"-ing kiddies (which for me is the most frustrating and 'Americanised' part of the day) so I took part in yet another Zombie Shuffle in the city.

The anonymity of it (unless you go with friends of course) is quite fun and you can be amazed the costume ideas people have; the streets you walk along to work every day are filled with bloodied folks groaning and shuffling along, frightening on-lookers and having strangers whip out their cameras to snap you as you go. In just over 48 hours you'll all be back in business suits and groaning and shuffling along to your morning work shifts.

If I could fit myself back into a leotard, I'd go as Elena Zombie-lodchikova but I don't think anyone would get the reference...

Anonymous said...

hahaha oh i loved the halloween characters! -bubble wrap! so sweet! Thanks

Mez said...

You are most welcome!

Hope you're enjoying your time in the USA! (I bet Halloween over there is a slightly bigger deal...)